Today

Today, the antidepressants are kicking my ass, making me too tired to function.

Today, I missed B as soon as he walked out the door for work.

Today, my baby boy said "shoggoth" and "ramune" and "apple juice".

Today, I had way too much tea.

Today, Bones kept me sane.

Goodnight.

This morning's dogwalking-time.

I was hugged today by a random lady on the street. She moved awkwardly, and her makeup was haphazardly applied. She smelled strongly of baby powder and floral perfume. She asked to pet the dogs and when she could pet Morning but not Beanie or Remmy (it scares them and I've become less shy about saying so), she gave C and me hugs to make up for not petting the dogs. She was on me before I had the chance to say no, thank you, no hugs. So I hugged her back, and I walked away thinking: If you'd said no, you'd be a hypocrite. You can't simultaneously demand that this society be more cuddly, be more understanding of "just friends" cuddling, and not be willing to hug strangers.

So that's me trying to change my attitude.

Hugs are better than any medicine, the woman said as she got back into her car.

Never change your attitude, strange old lady. Thank you.

Thoughts today.

I seem to go in cycles of getting excited about food, and the excitement fading out. At the peak of excitement, I am sometimes even eager to cook. Or at least eager at the idea of cooking.

I love to eat. I love food, its flavors, history, methods, theories.

I do not love to cook.

I actively dislike cooking, usually. Prep drives me crazy, except prepping mushrooms, and the cooking itself takes too much patience. It's not always so bad when I actually get to it, and if I let myself be patient, I'm usually pleased with the results. But on a day to day basis, cooking is not my favorite thing to do (while eating may well be).

However, in moments like these, when it's raining and thundering and I'm reading through a Jamie Oliver cookbook, my mind and desire wanders.

Several of these recipes are inherently gluten and casein free. Some may only require slight modifications.

This could be a good week.