It's hard. So let me explain why I do it.
I feel like a different person.
Let me try to emphasize that: I. Feel. Like. A. Different. PERSON.
I can think. I can complete tasks. I don't have migraines every day. I don't worry so much. I can have social interactions with strangers on the street. I have less fear. I have less pain. I can read at length. I can write. My house is clean. My head is clearer. My dogs are cared for. I can play with my child.
I went to a psychiatrist recently. The appointment was made months ago, before the diet change. After we discussed which antidepressant to start me on, I was explaining all the differences, all the improvements. He finally said, "Do you think you need medication?"
I stared. "I don't know," I said.
I have the prescription anyway. I haven't filled it yet. I will, and I'll see if it helps. I do still have the days of crying, of not wanting to eat, of just wanting to go back to bed. We'll see if Celexa helps.
But I can think!
I've never felt like this. For the first time in 26 years, I can think about doing something, and plan it, and then do it. I hung pictures on the wall today. I walked all the dogs, and then I had individual time with them. I worked out a training program to help all three of them get back to basic training, to work on recall, heel, sit, don't run through the front door like a maniac just because it's open. Two hours every morning, first a walk and then 15 minutes training time with each of them. And I'll do it.
And I haven't had a sugar crash in a while, either.
All of that said, I'd kill for some hot chocolate made with cream, right now.